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Smiling mad, he's so happy

King BoB? (Part 2)

BoB's black armor-clad opponent had his horse charge to the other end of the stadium, as BoB tried to get on his horse. It took five minutes, but BoB got on the horse and went to his end of the stadium. BoB grabbed his lance, someone blew a horn, and BoB's opponent came at BoB. BoB's horse charged forwards, and BoB hit his opponent's helmet, at the same time as his opponent glanced BoB's arm. BoB saw the helmet flying up, and tried to catch it on the end of his lance. To do this, he jumped off his horse, and lunged for it. He got the helmet on the end of the lance, and looked down. He saw he was falling towards his opponent's horse, and grabbed the nearest thing is sight, which happened to be the horse's tail. BoB swung under the horse, and grabbed on for dear life. This scared the horse, and it started bucking wildly, throwing the rider off, and knocking him unconscious. BoB accidentally lost his grip, and the horse ran out of the stadium. "And the winner is... That Thing!" yelled the announcer over the booing of the crowd. BoB jumped around happily, and then saw the tiny little cut on his arm. "AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! BOB HAZ A BOO BOO!" BoB yelled, and fainted.

When BoB came to, it was night, and there was a blazing fire in front of him, with hundreds of people around it. BoB tried to move, but realized he was tied up. "Uh, could BoB umpire as to why BoB iz tied up, and ta what dat fire iz four?" BoB asked, and scared some people. "It's awake!" yelled on person. "Quick, throw it in the fire!" yelled another. "WAIT WAIT WAIT! Iz dare anythig else great heroic knighty knight BoB can help ya with?" BoB asked, as two people started to lift him up. "Well, you could help us get rid of the dragon..." said one. "YES! GOOD! Deal!" BoB said. "Now, can sum one untie BoB, and not bake BoB?" BoB said, and people started untying BoB. "Tanks fur not baking BoB. Plus, BoB wouldn't make good firewood," BoB said. "Now, in da morning, BoB go and fight a dragen!" BoB yelled.

In the morning, BoB woke up from sleeping on a bed he had in his smaller-on-the-outside pockets. He saw a horse tied to a tree, with a lance and armor leaning by the tree. BoB figured the villagers left them there for him, and BoB prepared for his quest by eating a nutritious breakfast of armor before he set out towards the mountains the villagers said the dragon was hiding in.

When BoB got there, he did the smart thing, and bellowed: "HEY DRAGEN, GET YER BUM OUT HERE AN' FITE BOB!" He heard a roar, and the dragon came out of the cave in front of BoB. BoB had his horse back halfway down the hill, and started whimpering. After a great big battle (which mostly consisted of BoB waving the lance around, saying: "pleaze don't eat BoB!" and running away every time the dragon blew fire, BoB's horse charged towards the dragon (which was a complete accident) and BoB stabbed it in the knee. There was a crackling noise, and BoB turned around. Instead of bleeding, there were wires, pouring green goop all over, and severed electrical wires sparking where the skin was torn off. Curious, BoB hopped off his horse, grabbed an electrical wire, and stuck it in the goop. With a ZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT the dragon lit up like a christmas tree, jerked around, and crashed to the ground.

BoB walked up to the fallen dragon, and saw a window in its neckt. Suddenly, the neck opened up with a hiss of steam, and inside was a green rectangular box, "Paramedic Personal Call Box" written across the top. BoB opened the door, and saw that it was smaller-on-the-outside to. "Yeah, hi, would you mind moving away from that?" came a voice from behind BoB. BoB turned around, and saw Evil BoB standing there, holding a laser. "Water you doing here?" asked BoB. "Oh, just hurting innocent people, stealing anicent treasures, that sort of thing. Now, move!" said Evil BoB, waving the ray gun. BoB wisely moved out of the way, and evil BoB jumped in his escape pod rip-off. BoB ran back to his escape pod as quickly as he could, jumped through the doors, and started it up. He turned on a Wii U gamepad that would display whatever was on his invisible security camera, and saw Evil BoB's escape pod flying off. 

BoB put his escape pod in flight mode, and took off into the sky. The outside of his escape pod was spinning rapidly, but somehow the invisible security camera stayed in the same place (don't even ask how that works, I don't know). BoB kept pushing buttons, pulling levers, and other things to keep it in the air. Just as BoB was about to ram Evil BoB's escape pod, Evil BoB's escape pod dematerialized, and BoB went into thin air. "OH NO YA DON'T!" BoB yelled, and dematerialized after Evil BoB. BoB was rather pleased with himself, until he heard a crash. Everything shook, and alarm bells started ringing.


To be continued...

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