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Smiling mad, he's so happy

King BoB? (Part 1)

Last week, as you recall, BoB went Black Friday shopping (nearly getting himself killed) and took off in his escape pod to get to Back To The Future day [remember, this takes place before the last paragraph of the "BoB to the Future!" BoBlog] but evidently it failed, and where he landed smelled so bad, he had to put an air freshener around his neck, just so he could bear to explore.

BoB walked out of his escape pod, looked around, and saw he was on a tall grassy hill, and in the distance, he could see the towers of a castle. Having nothing better to do, BoB ran towards the castle, figuring he could cause trouble there. As soon as he got into town, someone screamed: "That thing's smile stretches off it's face! Witchcraft!" and soon BoB was surrounded by an angry mob of people, holding pitchforks and unlit torches.

"Hey, yer flame sticks aren't on fire," BoB said, pointing to the torches. "BoB'll fix dat four you dough!" BoB said, and pulled a lighter out of his smaller-on-the-outside pockets. He light a torch using it, and everyone gasped, and backed up. "What'z yer BoBlemz? IT just a lighter. Eveyone need one fur if dey get in a mergengy!" BoB said, but the people closed in on him. "This is witchcraft!" yelled one of the people. "Uh, no, it a lighter. Man, you DUM!" BoB said. "We must burn the witch at the stake!" yelled another person. "Oooooh, BoB like steak. And witches. Well, only if dey in Harry Potter, or if it at Halloween. OH! BoB got it now! BoB landed in da middle ages! And ya don't like Harry Potter here, cuz yer MEANIEZ! Oh, uh BoB'z also not a witch, so don't kill BoB, pleaze?" BoB said.

"If you aren't a witch then what are you?" asked another person. "Oh, uh BoBz a uh... KNIGHT! Yes! Yes, dat what BoB iz! A knight! Knighty knight, knight!" BoB said. "If you are a knight, you must prove it! You must joust our champion, the one and only, the best in the world.....Fred!" said a person. "Fred not a very cool or heroic name," BoB observed. "Maybe dey need some cool name like.... BoB! Oh wait, dat one taken..." "You dare to make fun of Fred?" asked someone. "Um, no. But... what if BoB win dis jousting match? BoB nose what happen if BoB looze, cuz BoB dies den, but what if BoB win? Can BoB go away den?" BoB asked. "No, because you already expressed your support of witchcraft, so we will still burn you at the stake!" yelled someone. "And what if BoB refuse, cuz dare no upside fur BoB," BoB said. "Then we burn you right here and now!" said the person. "Alright alright, BoB accept," BoB said. "Just put da pointy things away." "You will go to the equipment tent at noon, and be ready to joust half an hour after!" said a person, and the crowd dissipated.

BoB could have just went back to his escape pod, but being BoB, he forgot this, and went towards the equipment tent near some sort of stadium. When he got there, he saw there was a buffet of metal lying around for him, so he wouldn't have to go to battle on an empty stomach. When he was done, someone came in, and started shouting at him. "Why aren't you ready? The whole stadium is waiting, and you haven't even put your armor on!" yelled the person. "What armor?" Asked BoB, then remembered his buffet. "Oooooh, dat armor..." "You have to joust, armor or no armor!" yelled the person, and pushed BoB out the tent. "BoB not ready yet!" BoB yelled. "He's ready!" yelled the person who had pushed BoB out of the tent. "Then let's begin," said BoB's opponent, dressed in full armor, and on a black horse. "BoB still wazn't ready..."

To be continued.....

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