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Smiling mad, he's so happy

BoB's Final Time Travel Adventure (for a while anyway) (Part 2)

As BoB's escape pod was rammed by Evil BoB's, one of Celliri's computers flicked on, and a loading bar appeared, unnoticed by BoB. BoB's whole escape pod was upside down, and BoB was clinging onto the controls for dear life. BoB started mashing buttons with one hand, hoping something would happen. The TV screen built into the wall turned on, and showed what was happening outside. BoB saw the orange tunnel of energy, and then Evil BoB's escape pod came into view. "DAZE GONNA RAM BOB AGA-" BoB shouted, but was cut off as there was a crashing noise, and the whole escape pod rocked back and forth. On the TV screen, BoB saw the escape pod was hurtling towards the edge of the tunnel of energy, and expected the escape pod to explode when it touched the energy. Fortunately for BoB, the escape pod's emergency systems kicked in, and they rematerialized, but not before a shower of sparks flew out of the control panel. Gravity righted itself, and BoB was brought back down on the floor of his escape pod. "All write, time to see where BoB landed," he said to himself, and opened the doors.

He put one foot outside, and all that was there was open air. He looked down, and saw he had materialized right on the edge of a cliff, and the doors were facing the wrong way. He climbed back inside, and tried the dematerialize, but there was a stuttering noise, and the lights flickered. "Celliri, wat goin on?" asked BoB. "The other escape pod ramming us has purposefully corrupted the time circuits, and the safety protocols prevent dematerialization when vital systems are damaged,"said Celliri. "But something good did come out of the other escape pod ramming us. When the exteriors collided, I was able to connect to the other escape pod's systems, and downloaded a new update. It contained the blueprints for a watch that is linked to all escape pod systems, allowing you to control them from even the exterior. You can even contact me from it," said Celliri, and out of the control panel popped a digital watch, with buttons on every side. BoB put it on, and walked outside. He remembered that he couldn't walk outside, so he grabbed on to one side of the exterior, and crawled along there, until he was on firm ground again.

"Celliri, can you hear BoB?" BoB asked into the watch. "Yes. Waiting to receive orders," said Celliri through the watch. "Good. Cloze da doors so nobody can get in fur now. Well, how dey would get in even if da door was open is a mystery, but still," BoB said, and heard the doors swing closed. "Oh, and uh, wat year iz this, and where iz BoB?" BoB asked. "The year is 45,000 B.C, and you have been here before, but it was a little later, in Roman times," Celliri said. "Hmmm..." muttered BoB. "Ya mean the place where da big boulder almost fell on horses?" BoB asked. "Yes, that is correct." BoB thought for a second, and thought of something (which is really hard for him). "GOOD! Activate sum mathey stuffz, and figure out where dat boulder started rolling then! Once dat's dun, activate a GPS and lead BoB right to there!" BoB shouted. Once the calculations were complete, BoB started running towards the red dot on the map the watch screen was showing, which wasn't far away.

When BoB got there, he grabbed the largest boulder he could find, and put it right smack dab in the middle of where the one boulder had allegedly started rolling. "Celliri, doez dis watch have a lazer cutter on it?" BoB asked, and suddenly a red light on the front of the watch lit up, and fired a laser. BoB got to work, and started carving the boulder to look like his head. "Celliri, do more math stuff and figure out what BoB wood half to do to make dis boulder fall off dis hill on da same day it did before," BoB said. "But that is messing with the space time continuum, putting this rock here to save yourself!" said Celliri *. (* If you haven't figured it out by now, read BoB's "BoB in Rome" BoBlogs) "But it already happened, so it gotta happen!" BoB said. Celliri couldn't argue with that logic, and the instructions popped up on the screen.

When BoB was done he tuned around, and saw some prehistoric people behind him, about to thrust a spear through him. "BoB don't wanna be a shishkaBoB! Celliri, turn da laser on again!" BoB yelled, and shot the laser at the spear.  While the prehistoric people were confused, he ran back towards his escape pod, and saw they were following him. Soon he saw the escape pod again, and put on more speed.

Once he was there, he grabbed onto the side, and inched towards the doors. "Celliri, open up!" said BoB, and the doors swung open. He got inside and quickly closed the doors, and got to the control panel, trying to figure out his next move. Suddenly, everything shook, and BoB turned on the invisible security camera. He saw that the two prehistoric people were lifting the exterior, and pushing them off the cliff. "Interior stabilization, engaged," said Celliri, and everything stopped tilting inside. "Why can't ya do dat when BoB'z in flight?" BoB asked. "Because the systems are trying hard enough to even stay in flight when you are flying," said Celliri.

Suddenly, on BoB's security camera, there was only sky showing. "They have tipped the escape pod. Flight systems activating. Crash in Five... Four..." said Celliri. BoB ran around mashing buttons, and it seemed to do something. "Three, anti-gravity thrusters activating," said Celliri, trying to say two different things at once. "TWO, Thrusters online, ONE.... Crisis averted. Flight mode activated. Altitude: 500 feet," said Celliri. BoB opened the doors, and saw they were indeed flying. "OH! BoB haz a idea!" BoB said, and shut the doors. "Go fast az possible to anywhere dat will be da USA in 2015, and haz a storm... storming right now!" BoB said, and felt himself being pushed backwards. "You have arrived at your destination," said Celliri, and BoB felt the escape pod land.

He opened the doors, and started pushing the DeLorean (which had started this whole mess, way back in our BoB to the Future BoBlog) out the doors. BoB then ran back inside, got everything metal he could get his hands on, a long rope, and some duct tape, and ran outside into the rain again. He tied the rope around the DeLorean, and the other end to the light at the top of his escape pod. Then, he duct taped everything metal into as tall a tower as he could, and duct taped that to the light on top of the escape pod. He got in the DeLorean, set the time circuits for October 21st, 4:29 P.M. (remember, this takes place before the couple paragraphs of the BoB to the future BoBlog, so he wasn't there yet) and left the door open. He then ran back inside the escape pod, activated flight mode, and shot straight up.

"What are you doing?" asked Celliri. "Trying to time travel with two brokan time machinez! BoB'z DeLorean need power, but it have none... but BoB gonna fix dat! Iz dat az high az we can fly and still keep da DeLorean on the ground?" BoB asked. "Yes," said Celliri as BoB walked towards the still open doors, putting gloves on. "You still did not answer my question," said Celliri. "BoB gonna put it another way then," BoB said. "Finding Evil BoB, and getting out of here," he said, as he jumped, and closed the doors in mid air. 

As he plummeted, the grabbed on to the long rope, slowing his fall, and after a while, landed back on solid ground. He quickly got in the DeLorean, and started driving in circles, until he hit 88 miles per hour. He looked out a window, saw a flash of lightning, and hoped it would work. The lightning hit the tall metal pole attached to the top of the escape pod, electrocuted the rope attached to the DeLorean, which gave it the power it needed to time travel. As soon as there was a flash of light, he entered flight mode, and pressed the button that immediately teleported his escape pod into the DeLorean, so he wouldn't leave it behind.

Unfortunately, he crashed into another flying DeLorean time machine that appeared in front of him. BoB quickly got in his escape pod, and was thankful he had called it back inside the car. He hit some buttons, and with a screeching, wheezing noise, it dematerialized, with Celliri trying to keep the whole system from exploding.

It teleported right under his car, hovering in mid air with the flight function, and the car fell through the doors, saving it from smashing into a million pieces. BoB pressed another button, and his escape pod dematerialized again, the lightbulb on top blowing out. 

BoB Suddenly heard Evil BoB's escape pod wheezing into existence, and it materialized right next to BoB's. Evil BoB must have seen BoB on the security camera, because it soon dematerialized again. "Celliri, open da doors! BoB not letting him get way dis time!" BoB said, and drove the DeLorean inside. The doors swung shut, and BoB pulled the dematerialization lever. With the most terrible screeching noise imaginable, BoB's escape pod took off, and everything started sparking. "System calculations say that unless some external variable happens, we will not be able to materialize again because of the corruption to the time circuits. Due to this danger, my system will be pushed to it's limits, and unable to function properly," Celliri said. "BoB better find a way to fix da timey wimey thing den!" BoB said, and grabbed the joystick.

He used the radar screen to find where evil BoB's escape pod was, and when he saw it, he rammed it as hard as possible. It seemed impossible to pull away at first, but when he did, there was a scratch in Evil BoB's escape pod, letting BoB see the inside, where Evil BoB was panicking. "I have an idea. It is beyond my system functions to do so, but I have an idea. You must ram him again, and whatever you do, do not break contact with the other escape pod," said Celliri, and BoB pushed on the joystick so hard, the plastic started to crack. There was a crunch, and on BoB's TV, Evil BoB's escape pod was covered by a black and purple beam, and when it faded away, Evil BoB's escape pod had stalled. "Quickly, pull away, then ram him again!" Ordered Celliri, and BoB, always happy for an excuse to ram something, rammed it again. It spun towards the edge of the tunnel, but a pure white portal appeared, and sucked it inside. BoB flew his escape pod in after it, and the portal closed up.

"Celliri, what was that about?" BoB asked. "When we rammed him the second time I blasted the corruption back through the crack, and into the other Escape Pod's systems. That rendered it helpless, and when we rammed it, I opened a portal to the nearest weak point in time," explained Celliri. "So, what iz da weakest point in time closest?" BoB asked. "Time is always weakest right before a new year comes around. According to my calculations, that is December 31st, 2015, 11:58 P.M." said Celliri. There was a wheezing noise as they landed, and BoB saw that Evil BoB had already landed, and was running from his escape pod.

Not wasting a second, BoB ran out of his, and went after Evil BoB. Evil BoB jumped the fence to a place saying "DANGER: FIREWORKS" on it. BoB jumped it, too, and continued running. "Celliri, After BoB'z done here, calculate exactly how long it was since BoB first left, and when BoB will take off again, den return home to dat point in time, so BoB on schedule with current time," BoB said into the watch. When BoB looked up, he saw that Evil BoB was gone. He looked around, trying to figure out where Evil BoB had went, when Evil BoB pinned him to a huge rocket shaped firework behind him. 

"Aha! You followed me here, huh? Well guess what? When this firework goes off at midnight, you're going to explode with it!" said Evil BoB.  BoB struggled against Evil BoB, and managed to pin him to the rocket. It flew up, with both BoB and Evil BoB on it. Evil BoB was plastered to the front, screaming, while BoB yelled into the watch "CELLIRI, AT EXACTLY MIDNIGHT, TELEPORT BOB! IF BOB NOT TELEPORTED: POW POW BAM BAM BYE BYE BOB!" BoB yelled into the watch. BoB heard people counting down below him, and got ready. "Three!" BoB started counting with them. "Two!!!" "ONE!!!!!!! SMAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" BoB yelled, right before the firework exploded.

BoB was teleported to outside his escape pod, and saw that having Evil BoB on the fire work made it explode into a huge picture of BoB's head. BoB turned, and walked inside his escape pod.  Celliri had already calculated it down to the second of how long BoB had been gone. There was a wheezing noise, and the Escape Pod dematerialized, back into 2015.


The E-

BoB walked around the corner, from where he had been hiding since exactly 5 minutes and 37 seconds earlier, after the escape pod landed there. "Aw, BoB missed telling everybody Smappy New Year," BoB said sadly. 

The En-

"WAIT! BOB'Z IN UTAH! IF BOB HURRY AND DRIVE DARE IN DA DELOREAN, BOB MIGHT GET IN DA OTHER TIME ZONE IN TIME!" BoB said, driving out the doors of the escape pod, pushing the button in the DeLorean to summon the escape pod. As he went over 100 miles per hour towards Nevada, the last thing that could be heard was BoB shouting "SMAPPY NEW YEAR!"

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