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Smiling mad, he's so happy

BoB in Rome (part 3)

Last week as you recall, BoB took off in his DeLorean and traveled fifty years into the future. Unfortunately for him, he hit a building, and broke his DeLorean.

BoB climbed out of his DeLorean, and assessed the damage. "Oooooh... Dat could be baaaaaaad." BoB said to himself. "BoB better get it inside BoBz 'scape pod, so BoB can 'scape!" BoB said, and got inside. He hit the button labeled; "'scape from Lorian", and the escape pod was outside. BoB pushed his ruined DeLorean through the doors, and tried to figure out how he would time travel. "BoB accidently tore out the time travel tube* [*read last BoBlog for details] so BoBz turdiz/scape pod can't time travel, and BoB'z da Lorian is broken... OOH! Maybe BoB can ooze duck tape!" BoB said to himself. BoB checked his smaller-on-the-outside pockets, but only found a small piece of duct tape attached to the roll. "Ooooh... Dat right, BoB oozed it all to fix da scape pod," BoB said.  "Maybe BoB can borrow sum!" BoB said, and dashed to the doors. "Hey, do any body have sum duck tape BoB could borrow?" BoB yelled out the doors. People looked at him like he was crazy, and then suddenly screamed at the top of their lungs.

"Wat rong?" BoB asked, and stepped out of the escape pod. BoB saw that right next to the spot where his DeLorean crashed, there was a picture chiseled into the wall of a car with flames around it, and BoB in the drivers seat. "Nah... not BoBish enough... needs something else," BoB said, and got a hammer and a chisel out of his smaller on the outside pockets. BoB started chiseling away, and when he was done, there was a sound bubble with the words; "LXXXVIII MILES PER HOUR!" "OOOOOH! IT'S HIM! THE GOD OF CRAZINESS!"

BoB heard people shouting. BoB turned around, and saw a bunch of Ancient Romans behind him. "Quickly, you must come with us to the angry mountain!" yelled one of the Romans, and grabbed BoB's arm. "But what if BoB only nee-" BoB started, but got cut off. "NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS, GO GO GO!" yelled the crazy Roman.

Once they had climbed to the top of the mountain, BoB looked down, and saw that there was a huge hole in the center of the mountain. "Well, darez yer BoBlem! The mountain angry cuz it have a big hole in it head!" BoB said. Suddenly, the mountain rumbled, and BoB almost fell over. "It's been growling like that for days!" said one of the Romans after everything stopped shaking. "Dis should fix dat," BoB said, and picked up a rock. "HEY YOU IN THERE!" BoB yelled into the hole. "YEAH, YOU MOUNTAIN! STOP GROWLING AND SCARING PEPELZ LIKE DAT! IF YA DON'T STOP NOW, BOB GONNA THROW DIS BIG ROCK AT YA, OKAY?" The mountain shook again, and BoB threw the rock in. "BOB WARNED YA!" BoB said, and the mountain shook again. BoB looked down in the hole, and saw a reddish glow.

"Ummmm... is that supposed to happen?" asked someone. "Nevarmind dat," BoB said. "Wha wuz the name of dis mountain?" BoB asked. "Mount Vesuvius, my L-" "BOB THOUGHT BOB TOLD YA NOT TA CALL BOB DAT!" BoB screamed. "Plus, dat not a nice name. Maybe something like mount BoBle ghwof hog boggle woggle soggle would be cool," BoB said. "Yes sir, it will now be called Mount BoBle ghwof hog boggle woggle soggle," said the person in charge. "Wait... did ya say vesuvius?" BoB asked. "Yeah, ya said vesuvius. BoB pretty sure dat was a volcano that blew-" BoB never got to finish that sentence, because right then, the volcano blew up. "RUN FER YER LIVEZ PEPELZ!" BoB yelled, and ran as fast as he could. "MOUNT BOBLE GHWOF HOG BOGGLE WOGGLE SOGGLE IS ANGRY!" yelled someone. "You think it didn't like it's new name?" someone else asked.

BoB kept running, but it was no good. The lava was catching up to him, and he could never outrun it. Suddenly, Bob got a brilliant idea. BoB jumped off the side of the mountain, and fell. BoB fell into the town, but being BoB, he used BoB logic, and a mattress appeared under him. BoB kept running, but he had lost his way back to his escape pod. "Stupid scape pod!" BoB yelled, as he ran around trying to find it. Suddenly, he saw it. BoB ran towards it, and looked behind him. The lava was right on his tail, and volcanic ash was already covering everything. "BOB HOPE IT A YEAR OF OLYPICKS, CUZ BOB HAVE NEW VENT FOR YA PEOPLEZ! HUDRED METER DASH WITH LAVA BOUT TO BUN YA! DON'T DAT SPORT SOUND GREAT?!"  BoB yelled, and kept running.

BoB was almost at the escape pod doors, and he looked behind him. The lava was almost caught up to him, and he fished a remote control key out of his smaller-on-the-outside pockets. BoB mashed the "door open" button, and the doors swung open quickly. BoB was in the home stretch! BoB was almost there! He lunged forwards so he could get in his escape pod, and mashed the "door close button as he was in the air. The doors swung closed behind BoB, but the lava started to leak in anyway.

BoB scrambled to his feet, and got to the control panel. "Spare parts, spare parts, where are da spare parts?!!!" BoB yelled to himself. "Wait! BoB member now! BoB have drawrs under da con troll pannell! Dat where a spare time travel tube iz!" BoB said as he looked  through drawers. He found a time travel tube, and screwed it into the control panel. the lava was still oozing in, and a bit of it seared the back of BoB's foot."Take off time!" BoB yelled after he jumped on the control console, and hit the button labeled; "MeRGenCee? PREZZ DIS NOW!!!!!" His escape pod made its normal wheezing noise, and dematerialized, leaving the lava behind in 79 A.D. Now that he was in flight, he decided he should set his destination time.

"Ummm... let'z see, BoB don't know where a place like BoBz looking four will be... Wait! BoB has a self-thinky-computer-systemy-thingy!" BoB said, as he remembered there was one programed in. "Let see, what wuz itz name? Seari? Celibi? Oh wait, no! BoB member now!" BoB shouted. "Celliri, BoB'z scape pod gonna stink of volcanic ash now, so BoB gonna need ta go somewhere with nice fresh air. Can ya take BoB to a place like dat?" BoB said into a little microphone on the control panel. "Yes. Arriving there now." said the automated response from BoB's escape pod, and the wheezing noise started. Once it stopped, BoB got off the console, and opened the doors. "AHHH, fresh air!" BoB started. "GAH! WHAT IS DAT SMELL?!" BoB yelled, and shut the doors.

"All right Celliri, what happened? Ya were gonna find a nice place with nice fresh air!" BoB yelled into the microphone. "I apologize," said the automated voice. "However, you did hit the emergency take off button, and I am programed to get you out of there,"  said the voice. "Whatever. BoB gonna go exploring now!" BoB said and headed towards the doors. He seemed to remember something, turned around, and got the little scented pine tree of the central control console. "Humph. Nice fresh air BoBz-" BoB started, and BoB's escape pod shut the door behind him.

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