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BoB in Rome

We're sorry there was no BoBlog last week, but BoB used his DeLorean to go to this week, saw a BoBlog was put up only today, then traveled back in time and told us. So, to not mess up the space-time continuum, we waited until today.

Remember last blog when BoB went to the future, and it mentioned him in ancient Rome? No? Well then scroll down, because it's right under this one. So, this is the story of how BoB went to ancient Rome.

Last time (even though it was a couple hundred years into the future) as you may recall, BoB made a DeLorean time machine, and tried it out. Since he hit over 88 miles per hour, and then turned the time circuits on, he overshot the day he was trying to go to, and ended up in the future, where Donald Trump had become elected president in 2016, then established a dictatorship, with his Trumpbots enforcing all his laws. BoB made the Trumpbots mad at him, so they started chasing him. As BoB drove off in his DeLorean, he saw a mechanics shop advertising about fixing flying cars. Being BoB, he got distracted, decided to get his DeLorean flying, but he didn't have enough Trumpbucks (Trumpland's currency). BoB robbed the 7458th National Trumpbank of the necessary money, and the mechanic made his car fly. However, the Trumpbots had burst in, and demanded BoB pay up. BoB didn't want to do that, so he took off into the sky, to trying escape.

[And not that we got that whole paragraph of recap, you can read the BoBlog.]   

 

"Thiz time, BoB turning the time curcitz on first!" BoB said. BoB punched in some numbers, just so he could get out of there, then pulled the lever. "BoB getting to close to dat glassy thing!"BoB said, and shot straight down. The Trumpbot's lasers missed BoB, and put a hole in the dome. Gravity pulled BoB's DeLorean down, making him get to 88 miles per hour even faster. "86!...87!!...88 MILES PER HOUR!" BoB said as he hurtled towards the ground. He saw a flash of light, and pulled up on the wheel so he wouldn't hit the ground. 

BoB heard screaming, and looked out the window. There were some people in togas pointing and screaming, and others running out of the way. "WHATZ YER BOBLEMZ? IT JUZT A FLAMIN' DELOREAN FALLIN' TO EARTH!" BoB yelled out the window, as he tried to turn the flight mode on again. BoB managed to do so, but not quick enough. He slowed the car's fall, but it still hit the ground hard. One of the tires blue LED lights that enabled it to fly (don't ask me, apparently they figured it out a couple hundred years from now) blew out in a spectacular display of sparks, and smoke started coming from the glove box. Coughing, BoB opened his door, and stumbled out.

​BoB was hearing people saying "oooooh!" and "ahhhh!, but he couldn't see who was saying it, because of all the smoke. Suddenly, he heard a bunch of people fall down, and figured there must be trouble. He forced his eyes open, and saw lots of people on their knees, chanting. "Wire ya peplolz chanting?" BoB asked the people. "And wire yer all on the ground? Did ya all fall over or sumtin?" The people kept chanting louder, and BoB figured out there was the slight chance he was in the wrong time, so he decided to look at his Time Circuits to see where he was. "Hang on one secund peplolz, BoB gotta check something."

BoB checked the time circuits, and they read: May 24th,  29 A.D, 12:44 P.M. Location: ???; Rome. (You may not remember the location part from the Back to the Future movies, but BoB decided he needed to know where he was at all times. Except he didn't know most names of cities, so most of them come up as ???) "Look like BoB made an oopz," BoB said, and walked outside. BoB saw someone walking down the street, holding a red cloak.

"Hey, water they doing?" BoB asked the nearest person. "They are bring you your royal cloak, my lord," said the person. "Who's lord? BoB'z a lord now? Nonono, BoB don't want to be a lord! To manny letter, see? Like BoB, dat three letters. But calling BoB lord makez it an extra letter. Now, Yer BoBably impressed with BoB'z amazing counting skill, but if dat weren't amazig enough, BoB can count to five​ before skrewig up.... well, normal.... most of the time.... all right, BoB'z leying. That only on a good day. But, today'z a good day, so that good!... Right?" "Yes, my lord," said the person. "ARRRRGH! SHUT UP! BoB don't want to be a lord!!!! Member how BoB said dat? 'Cause if you don't, yer head must be thicker than BoBz!" Whatever you say, my lord."

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! WHAT DID BOB JUST SAY?!!!! WHAT DID BOB JUST SAY, HUH? HUH?!!!!! ​Ooooh, here, another good point BoB haz, member how BoB was talking bout BoBz mazing counting ability earlier? Oh, wait, you BoBaly don't, cause you can't even remember BoBz LAST SENTANCE!!!! Anyway, what BoB said, was that BoB wuz leying. Lord's wouldn't do dat, would they?" BoB said. "Well, most of them are politicians, so they would, my lord," said the person. "OOOOOH WHAT DID BOB JUZT SAY TO YOU-... wait, politicans lie in ancient Rome to? Dat's good to know. Maybe some day, BoB can go to prehistoric times and see if they lied a lot back then, to," BoB said.

"Whatever you say, my lord. You know, we know you really aren't a politician, since you fell out of the sky on your strange metal chariot, my lord,"  The person said. Suddenly, it clicked in BoB head (what clicked in there, I don't know. Theres noting in there to click!) all these ancient Romans thought BoB was one of the ancient Roman gods. BoB tried to remember the name of any Roman god, but he couldn't. "BoB's name is....uh....uh....ummmmm.......FLANGLE RIZZLE BOBLE FOBBLE MC DOBLE! But you can just call BoB BoB," BoB said.

"ALL HAIL FLANGLE RIZZLE BOBLE FOBBLE MC DOBLE!" yelled the crowd. The person with the cloak put it around BoB, and dropped to his knees. "This iz all very well and good, but.... can BoB get thiz in a different color? Like.... maybe purple? Cuz' purple iz cool. It wuz the color of royalty in ancient grease....or wuz dat here....yeah, BoB think dat wuz here. Oops." "Certainly, my lord. We'll just have to make a-" they started saying.

"STOP!!!! CALLING!!!!! BOB!!!!!!!! LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" BoB screamed to the entire town. "Yes, my lor-er..... Yes," said the person.

"By the way.... does BoB get a feast?" BoB asked. "Cause dat's what dey did in Rome." "Yes, certainly, we will arrange a feast! COME NOW, CITIZENS! WE MUST ARRANGE A FEAST FOR LORD FLANGLE RIZZLE BOBLE FOBBLE MC DOBBLE, WHO YOU CAN JUST CALL BOB!" yelled the person who put the cloak on BoB, and the whole mob ran off.

"Now, BoB should find a way out of here," BoB said to himself, and got in his smaller-on-the-outside DeLorean. BoB turned it on, and hit the gas. It wouldn't budge, so he looked out the window. He saw one of his back tires wasn't spinning, and the blue LED lights were off. BoB decided that was the reason, and tried thinking how he could get the back tire to spin. BoB got out of the car, and climbed under it. BoB saw that the axle was broken, and climbed out. He felt a raindrop, and saw that there was now a thunder storm. BoB remembered he had a bunch of spare parts in his red box shaped escape pod, and he might have an axle there.

Suddenly, BoB felt the ground shake, and looked around. A group of horses was running through the streets, because the thunder had spooked them. BoB saw that they were heading right at his DeLorean, and got worried. "HEY YA DUM HORSES! DAT THUNDUR SCARED YA INTO RUNNING ALL CRAZY? WELL BOB CAN BE EVEN SCARIER! GET READY TO BE SO SCARED YOU RUN DA OTHER WAY? READY?..... BOO!!!!!! ​Oh, dat didn't wurk. Time ta think! BoBz not to good at dat dough...."

BoB panicked, and there was no time to react. Suddenly, a boulder rolled off a nearby mountain. BoB saw it rolling down, and the odd thing about it was that it was shaped like BoB's head. It rolled down the mountain, hit an almost invisible bump of dirt, and flew in front of BoB, blocking the road. Carved into the back of it, in messy hand writing, it said; "What if you use the escape pod coatrack for an axle?" "Hey, maybe BoB should use the coat rod in BoB's 'scape pod for an axel!" BoB said to himself. The rain got worse, and BoB decided he should get his escape pod out of his smaller-on-the-outside DeLorean, then push his DeLorean into his smaller-on-the-outside escape pod while he fixed the DeLorean.

BoB got in his DeLorean, and walked to the back seats, where a red wooden box, with the words Fireman Private Call Box painted on it. BoB got in it, and went to the control panel. He couldn't time travel while he was still in his DeLorean, so he didn't have to worry about flying into the future or past by accident. He pushed buttons and flipped switches quickly, and it dematerialized. He pulled a lever (which was really just a joystick attached to his control panel) slightly to the right, and then hit the button with a sticky note on it, saying: "REmatErEaLize" that BoB wrote. When it stopped making loud wheezing noises, BoB opened the front doors, and saw his DeLorean. He got behind it, and started to push. When he got it in, he closed the doors behind him, and dematerialized.

He flew it near the base of the mountain, and pressed the rematerialize button, but all that happened was a loud BZZZZT noise. "Whatz goin on, ya dum scape pod?" BoB said, and mashed the button. Suddenly, the whole contraption rumbled, and flames shot out of a toaster that (for whatever reason) BoB had attached to his control console. BoB went over to put out the fire, but on the other side, a tea kettle shot steam (and tea) out.

BoB's whole escape pod started spinning super fast, and centrifugal force pinned BoB to the wall. On the other side of the control room, a couple bolts flew off, and the paneling started coming apart, creating a gap. Out the gap, BoB saw storm clouds, and lighting shot into his escape pod, hitting the control console. BoB pulled himself off the wall, and slowly made his way towards the gap. Once he was there, he got some duct tape out of a secret compartment, and taped the gap shut.

More lightning came in, and BoB decided he would have to seal up the gap from both sides. He held his roll of super duct tape in his teeth, and got to the doors. He opened one, and the force of the wind blew him so much, he flew out the door, but he managed to grab onto the closed one. Luckily for BoB, the doors only opened inwards, so he didn't just fly off. BoB managed to get on his feet, and held onto the spinning escape pod as tightly as he could. Lightning struck it, and the whole thing wobbled. BoB just managed to cling on, and moved closer. He inched towards the gap, and made it there. He held on with only one hand, and used a strip of duct tape. He put the duct tape on, and right before he tore that piece off, lightning hit his escape pod. The whole thing turned upside down,and BoB was weightless for a second...before he started to fall.

To be continued...

 

Next time: BoB in Rome: Part 2

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